Things I’ve Learned from the Herculoids
How many of you growing up remember a show called The Herculoids? They were about 10 minute long animated cartoons that featured a family of three (Zandor, Tarra and their son, Dorno). They had a bunch of monsters with them that helped them defeat the various enemies featured in each episode.
The series runs in re-runs on the Boomerang Network, around 12:45 AM 7 days a week right now.
Every episode is essentially the same. Zandor is sleeping in the tree house. Tarra is (of course) tending to wifely duties and Dorno is playing with his mutant creature friends (I bet this kid will need therapy in later life). Inexplicably, some creatures will appear and kidnap Tarra or Dorno (no apparent reason is given normally) which forces everyone into attack to beat the crap out of the creatures. In the end of many episodes, the creatures return to an area called the "Endless Caverns" with Zandor promising to go into the caverns and finish them off so they stop attacking.
Having caught a few of these recently, I'm reminded of the important lessons that this cartoon teaches you:
- Paranoia is healthy. Everyone is out to get you
- Xenophobia is healthy. Everyone is out to get you
- Women are helpless.
- Overwhelming force is useful is just about any situation
- Everyone is out to get you
Maybe I'll think of more some time, but those are lessons that everyone can use, every day of their life.
If you watch this show as an adult, I want you to realize what a lazy piece of crap Zandor really is. More than a few episodes end with the alien fleeing into an area called the "Endless Caverns" and Zandor saying "Maybe one day I'll go in there and finish them off so they stop raiding us" (or something similar). Given the amount of times a creature appears from this cavern, this is a promise Zandor never lives up to.
November 30th, 2008 - 20:40
Zandor did not launch a counterattack into the Endless Caverns because it wouldn’t have been prudent. In order to attack the Endless Caverns properly, the Herculoids would have had to go in full force, thereby leaving their treehouse vulnerable to their many other enemies.
Sure, they could have sent in a small detachment. However, after the initial victories, the Herculoids would have gotten bogged down in an effort to reconstruct the Endless Caverns and introduce democracy to the spider people.
Meanwhile, the bad spider people would have gone into hiding and launched random strikes upon vulnerable targets, perhaps even picking off Dorno in one of his frequent careless moments, and Zandor would be left wondering whether it was worth it.
October 4th, 2011 - 00:59
For a post entitled, “Things I’ve Learned from the Herculoids,” there curiously little written that indicated anything in particular learned. Your just taking exaggerations of situation, elements of fantastical in this fictional reality, and highlighting what I suppose could, MAYBE, possibly be interpreted as some sort of indication correct behavior-influencing factors of the reality we inhabit. The pointlessness of presenting it this way, as some sort of thing to be mumbled at in vague distress like, “oh look what our children are learning, hmm!” is that it’s absolutely non-threatening fantasy television, and thereby any values to be inferred will come from the elements *shared* with our existence. Like, uh, conflict maybe? Overcoming obstacles, sometimes alone, but effectively with teamwork? Taking care of our loved ones? Zandor unfailing accepts every apology from his oft-captured flesh and blood, no matter how careless they might have been. Don’t you get the sense that there’s obviously been a lull in between the episodes of heated conflict that punctuate those characters lives? I don’t think a forgiving man like Zandor begrudges his family’s moments where they can be carefree and simple.
And swag, nice post Don. Thanks for saving me the energy! It’s 1:56 and I got lab tomorrow for PoB. Good night all.
Nothing really personal ‘Lorien1973′, you just trash talked my show and I had to represent, lay it down know-wh’m-sayin’?
This is how we be from 93′ till’ 11/8/93 swag swag!
Man with the mind for the classics be out!