Deep Thoughts, Random Rants

Halloween Turns Kids into Welfare Recipients

And they don’t even need it!

Written on Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 2 Comments so far

So it’s Halloween again and here we go again. Random kids I’ve never seen before come to my door begging me for food. And not healthy food, but for candy. And they demand it too, they ring the door-bell until I come running offering my tithing lest my house get toilet papered or they throw eggs at my house or something.

So I offer up my tithing, actually thanking the kids of coming to my house and stealing food that I had purchased with my hard earned money. Sometimes they thank me sometimes, most of the times they do not. But I continue to give my money over because it’s demanded of me. And then I say “Happy Halloween!” to them - what’s happy about it? I should call it the yearly Halloween Tax. It only affects parents with no kids, because parents with kids are out wandering the neighborhood, begging for scraps of food themselves

And when the kids come, they are dressed up like mummies, skeletons, vampires and all sorts of creatures that are dead. Much like the way that welfare kills the soul, because you are given things you didn’t earn; Halloween welcomes fake dead people up onto your porch.

Then we get strange cars driving around the neighborhood, obviously carrying kids from other neighborhoods to get candy from us. So the trick-or-treaters (re: welfare recipients) gather up in cars, drive to strangers’ houses and steal their food too. It is not about community or getting to know your neighbor. It is all about “how much food can I steal, in the shortest period of time possible.”

So this year, I once again pay my Halloween Tax, tithing my money to children and parents who - any other day of the year - wouldn’t come by my house if I were rolling around the yard on fire. But for free food, they’ll come in droves - lavish me with attention and happily walk away with my food. Then move onto the next house to steal from them too.

And the parents of these children get off with no Halloween Tax at all; because they are smart. They are out chaperoning their children through the streets. Sometimes eating the food we’ve tithed to the children. Leeches.

Happy Halloween everyone!

(Bryan at Hot Air chimes in with some cool Halloween stuff - that doesn’t involve me feeding other peoples’ kids)

Assurant Health (Time Insurance Company) Sucks

Crazy high rates

Written on Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 12 Comments so far

I’ve been with the same health insurance company for years now, since about 2002. My premiums were about $250/month, with a decent deductible and a low co-pay as well. I was pretty happy with the service, and it kept my parents from nagging me about getting insurance. So it worked on different levels.

Then, in 2005, I tried to add my wife to plan and include maternity coverage as well. Adding her raised my premiums to $582/month which was astonishing, but women need to go to the doctor more, so I was fine with that. This year, as we are possibly trying to have a child, I called to make sure that the policy included the maternity coverage as requested.

It did not and there was no way to add it. After speaking to a few people at our insurance company, I got them to allow me to add the coverage as long as it was backdated to the time she joined the policy and pay the past premiums. I said fine and send me a quote as to what the cost would be. Keep in mind, I assumed that the $582/month already included maternity coverage on it, so I wasn’t expecting a huge increase or bill. Maybe a few thousand dollars in back premiums and $100 or so per month extra at worst.

So I open my mail the other day, and I get this letter from Assurant Health.

This letter is to advise you that if you were to add the Maternity Rider effective December 15, 2005 the total amount due would be $11,206.58.

….

We apologize for the amount of time it took to respond to your correspondence.

I omitted the boring part of how they broke down how they came across the figure. I liked how they apologized for how long it took to get back to me; they should have been apologizing for trying to pass this off as a reasonable amount to pay. $11,000 ? Assuming you have a child without insurance, it costs between $10,000 and $20,000 or so. So, I’m almost half paid off anyways. What’s the point of this insurance? Really?

So I placed a call to Assurant Health and talked to someone on the policy holders’ line. I asked her what, on top of that $11,000, would happen to my monthly premiums if I went ahead and paid. She said my premiums would go from $500 per month to $1200 per month. I was flummoxed and asked if she thought $1200/month was reasonable for 2 people, in their early 30’s, non-smokers, no health problems, etc. She said that she has seen higher. That was helpful. She asked if there was anything else she could do to help. Other than pay off that $11,000 pill and not rape me for $1200 per month, not really.

I called around just a few moments ago and reached Blue Cross/Blue Shield. I’ve heard of them of course. So I talk to someone on the phone and they said there is some “Plan 3″ policy (or something like that) that’d cost me $313/month plus $100 (or $50, depending on the deductible) for maternity coverage. For both of us. Hmm. $413 compared to $1200. That’s a tough choice there.

Obviously, I’ll do more calling around before I make a commitment, but $1200 is crazy. $413 is quite pallitable.

While on the phone with Assurant Health (I’d already contacted BCBS as this point) and told her that BCBS quoted me $413 for the same coverage, if not a little better. She said that was possible, new business is cheaper than existing business. That’s completely contrary to every business model I’ve ever heard about it. It’s supposedly much cheaper to keep an existing customer than get a new one. Weird.

Anyways, Assurant Health sucks. If it wasn’t apparent to me before, it is now.

Xbox 360, PS3 - What’s the point?

Come on?

Written on Saturday, July 14th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 1 Comment so far

I’ve been waiting since the Xbox 360 has been released to buy the system. I keep waiting and waiting. I currently own an Xbox and liked several games - even though I’m not a huge gamer. I like action RPG’s and adventure games, primarily.

I’ve also been looking at the PS3 since it was released. I used to own a PS2 a long time ago as well.

But, I’m still wondering - why did either of these companies even produce these systems?

In 2007, do we really want to be playing Missile Command? Pac Man? Joust? Double Dragon? Paperboy?

Those games were fun; for their time. But it’s 2007. Surely we can do better, right?

So far, for the Xbox, the only game that interests me is Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. I haven’t seen anything for the PS3 yet. The quality of games doesn’t even seem much above the Xbox for either system.

How much longer before something good comes out? Really?

I’d buy some PC games, but I’m sick of upgrading my PC and everything seems like its an MMORPG anyways - and I refuse to play those wastes of time.

Public Schools Taking Steps to Improve…Something

A step in the right direction.

Written on Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

When your school system suffers from the following:

• 46% proficiency in Reading
• 39% proficiency in Math
• 31% proficiency in reading for black students
• 25% proficiency in math for black students
• 65% graduation rate (in 5 years)

 And are told, that to improve the situation, you need to implement the following steps (pdf link):

• A top-to-bottom organizational focus on student achievement, supported by a consistent and continuous message from superintendent and board
• The rigorous use of achievement data to inform instructional, staffing, and programmatic decisions by teachers, principals, and central office staff
• Systems to hire, develop, and retain effective teachers and principals in all schools
• The full engagement of families and the larger community in promoting achievement

What steps would you take to improve your schools and the quality of education for your students?

If you are the Pittsburgh Public School system, then obviously, you’d take the following steps:

• Hire Better Teachers  Drop the word “public” from the school system.
• Encourage Parents to Help with Education  Make a new logo. Complete with circles, triangles and squares
• Use achievement data to help recognize areas of concern   Hire a marketing consultant to make a new slogan, “Excellence for all”
• Improve communication between parents and teachers   Build a customer service center, aimed at boosting the district’s image
• Improve the reading and math classes   Teach kids how to put on a condom

The Pittsburgh Public School System, sorry the Pittsburgh School System, is surely in line to work wonders in the field of education, graduation and help to bring a new generation of leaders into the world. Congratulations.

Curious, if only 39% of your student body will be able to recognize a logo with circles, squares and triangles - won’t that alienate your customer base? Oh well. Guess that’s a hurdle we’ll cross when we come to it.

Come See Me On ‘To Catch a Predator’!

I love good product placement!

Written on Thursday, July 5th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

MSNBC ran a marathon of the Dateline series To Catch a Predator the other night and it was totally fascinating. I’ve never seen the series on Dateline (I thought Dateline only specialized in blowing up cars to drive their conclusion based reporting) but I’ve heard about it and seen clips and parodies online. Last night, I watched most of the marathon, and eventually I realized that one of the products we sell is featured on the show! Awesome!

Watch the embedded video and the magical moment starts at about 7 seconds into the clip. It might repeat a few times throughout, but the first time is all you really need. Did you miss it? At the right of the frame is a wall cross with a dark thing in the middle. I believe (though obviously its hard to tell for sure) that it is this item. We haven’t sold anything to NBC recently; but given that these houses are (I assume) rented out or owned by Perverted Justice, it’d be hard to know if we sold them that item or not.

Either way, I’m glowing! So; if you want a piece of ‘To Catch a Predator’ memorabilia, click on over! I won’t guarantee that creepy dudes will come over to your house to have sex with your 12 year old son/daughter, but I will guarantee a good conversation piece. And what more can you really ask for?

Ron Paul Promises to Cut Government Spending

But the reality says otherwise.

Written on Friday, June 29th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 12 Comments so far

The last hope for the Republic, Ron Paul, is a fiscally conservative senator from Texas who rails against big government and government spending.

Ron Paul’s supporters “love” his championing of the Constitution in this regard. Limited government. Lower taxes. More Freedom.

But is Ron Paul really for less government spending? The proof in the pudding is always pork projects for the local constituency. That’s the way politicians buy votes, right? Shouldn’t Ron Paul, the champion of the Constitution, be against pork barrel spending.

As they say on TV,  let’s go to the tape. (local PDF link - link to original version). Can someone please remind me, which article of the Constitution allows for “Brazoria County Shore Protection”, “Cancer Center Expansion” “Chocolate Bayou” among other pork projects, many of which just -happen- to be in his local district. Very puzzling.

The Champion of the Constitution, indeed. Sure, come and say that he’s just working within the system and that when he’s elected he’ll change things. Then, in the next breath tell me that he doesn’t pass many bills because he can’t get people to agree with him - because he’s such a rigid supporter of constitutional ethics. Uh huh.

Ron Paul. The last hope. The best hope. For the Republic. Take the Red Pill. Ron Paul.

(H/T: Ace)

Ask.Com Kato Kaelin Ads

Is Ask Serious?

Written on Saturday, June 23rd, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 1 Comment so far

I’m sure you’ve seen the Ask.Com ads featuring Kato Kaelin. Some lady sings that she found what she is looking for. What is she looking for? Kato Kaelin.

I’ll make this simple. If you are searching the internet for Kato Kaelin, then you are a moron. You don’t deserve to “find what you are looking for”.

By the transitive property, if you use Ask.Com you are a moron as well. Because only morons (see point above) use Ask.Com.

Is this the message Ask.Com wants to put out with this advertisement? Become a moron. Use Ask.Com.

I think they should make it their official slogan, too. Jeeves is rolling over in his grave.

Being the web entrpeneur I am, I did a search on how many people are looking for “Kato Kaelin” During the last 90 days 33 people searched for Kato. Ask.Com is obviously trying to capture those high volume searches, isn’t it?

Let’s also examine Ask.Com’s results for Kato Kaelin (this search may age, so feel free to type Kato Kaelin in at Ask for your own analysis). Half of the front page is consumed with results from 1996. Now, that’s current results. Congratulations, Ask! You rock.

Ask.Com has this neat little feature in the left navigation, too.

The answer to all of these searches can be summed up with “Who cares”

And who cares about Ask? Kato. And Morons.

Smugglers Using Garden Gnomes for Illegal Animals

Great. Wonderful.

Written on Thursday, June 21st, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

This story, not only is it funny, but it strikes me - personally - and very deep level.

During a routine check of international mail on June 10, an officer discovered two snakes and three lizards stuffed inside three of the diminutive garden figurines in a shipment from Britain.

“When the package was opened, the officer spotted several snakes moving about. The package was immediately resealed,” Australian customs said Tuesday in a statement.

A day later, officials at the same facility X-rayed another package from Britain and found five snakes and five lizards stuffed inside pottery figures and other ornaments.

Nice. So, it’s just a routine smuggle and capture, right?

Well, for me, not so much.

See, when I was a kid, I lived in an area with no sewage so we had a septic tank. One morning, when I went to the bathroom and sat down, I didn’t notice the snake in the toilet immediately. When I did, I jumped up and started screaming like a girl. It’s a very traumatic experience at that age, try it, if you don’t believe me.

And don’t think my mother doesn’t enjoy bringing it up all the time too!

So, looking at the picture:

You can see how personally affected I’d be by this. Snakes/toilets/butts do not go together in any way at all. That we sell garden gnomes doesn’t help the link very much either! The scene in Snakes on a Plane with the snake in the toilet. NOT FUNNY! (Well, kinda funny). Gags where parents put some monster in the toilet to scare their kid. NOT FUNNY!

Okay. Time for therapy again.

Is Sci Fi Channel Killing Sci Fi Movies?

Can they get any worse?

Written on Thursday, June 7th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 1 Comment so far

Tonight on Sci Fi, “Dark Storm”. The premise of the movie is that a group of scientists discover a device that uses dark matter to eliminate matter, but an accident gives one scientist the ability to control weather. WTF is this about?

Guess who stars in it? Stephen Baldwin. If it’s a bad Sci Fi movie, surely he’ll be in the starring role. He’s the worst actor ever. This time, he has a retarded mustache on his face to make him look smart. Here’s the rub: he’ll look dumb regardless.

He -never- gets eaten by the monster in the movie too. I keep hoping, but nooo. Heaven forbid Sci Fi channel ever give a premise that would make me smile.

But this isn’t about Baldwin (maybe a little) as much as it is about the predictable, stupid story lines.

Guy finds ancient creature. Ancient creature kills guy. Team (consisting of: a black guy, a hot chick with huge boobs - the brains, Baldwin, and an old guy - for credibility) are sent in to deal with it. Black guy is killed first (of course). The old guy is next. The hot chick and Baldwin are trapped somewhere and start to have feelings for each other. She dies. He saves the day. The end.

We get it. We get it. Enough already, okay?

UPDATE: On the positive side; you do know what you are getting with a Sci Fi movie. Next up on Sci Fi, “Ice Spiders”. You want spiders on ice. Sci Fi delivers spiders on ice. Never a doubt as to what you are about to see. ‘Gargoyles’ - yep, its about Gargoyles. I’m still waiting for a Flying Spaghetti Monster movie or something. That’d be a step up from what we are seeing now.

Boeing Dreamlifter - Flying Pig in a Blanket

It can carry a lot. And it looks delicious.

Written on Sunday, May 20th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

So Boeing unveiled its Dreamlifter aircraft the other day after a series of test flights. It can carry 65,000 cubic feet of cargo, double that of a 747 airliner. Shipping companies such as UPS, FedEx and others will surely want this for their international freight. It’s a great plane, sure. But why does it look like a pig in a blanket?

What ever happened to aesthetics? This is an ugly sucker; but boy does it look delicious.

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