For Fun and Profit

Write-in Zombie Reagan in the Primaries; not Fred

Get it right.

Written on Saturday, January 26th, 2008 by lorien1973 :: 3 Comments so far

Glenn Reynolds links to a post suggesting we should write-in Fred Thompson in the primaries to show that Republican voters wanted to vote for a true conservative. But now, they can’t since he dropped out in the last week or so.

I think the idea is good; but why do it for Fred? Fred, apparently, could have won all 47 of LA’s delegates had he stayed in the race a few days longer. Momentum was, I believe, on Fred’s side. But he bowed out, and I still believe that he was in the race to be the VP, for McCain. He, in the end, killed off Huckabee (hopefully); so his candidacy did serve a useful purpose.

But still, I have not found any real evidence that Fred ever had the fire in his belly to be President. So why write him in? Instead, show complete disdain for the process and vote Zombie Reagan. Now that is a clear message. If we can’t vote for a conservative, we’d rather vote for a dead person. And what dead person is better able to win than Reagan?

Zombie Reagan. ‘08. For eternity.

Online Uno Strategy

It’s a card game!

Written on Friday, August 17th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 2 Comments so far

I’ve been playing Uno on XBox Live Arcade recently and I’ve begun to pick up some good strategy tips that maybe you havne’t thought of. Uno is very much based upon luck, so I wouldn’t go assuming any strategy will let you win a lot more often, so the best you can do is put yourself in the best possible position to win. Here are a few tricks I’ve learned:

• Save your wild cards: Unless you absolutely have to; do not use them. Save them as, hopefully, your last card to make sure you can go out on anything.
• Try to keep all the colors in your hand: There are four card colors, so if you have 4 cards left you want to try and have one of each in your hand (if at all possible).
• Do not keep duplicate numbers: As you know, using the same number that is already on the discard pile will let you change the color from blue to green or whatever. If your hand has 2 8’s and an 8 is on top, even if you have that color, drop the off color 8, especially if the colored card is the last one you have. For instance if you have: Red123, Blue45, Green 4 and the card on top is a green 4. Drop the blue 4, not the green 4. Keep your colors in tact, but get rid of  the duplicate numbers instead. Give yourself options, both colors and numbers for later in the game.
• Challenge Uno: It’s not nice; but if someone forgets to call Uno, call them on it. Make them draw two cards as a punishment. On Xbox Live Arcade, when I see someone going down to 1; I’m hitting the Y challenge button immediately so even if the next player acts quickly, you got the non-caller.
• Drawing Cards: If you do not have a card to play and are forced to draw from the deck; do not play the card you draw, even if its eligible. It tells the other players that you are still lacking that color and inspires them to either reverse play to make you draw again or keep the color the same for another go around. Especially do not play any wild card you draw. Always keep that card.

There may be other tricks as well, but these seem to work well for me and let me win a decent (meaning 30% - HA!) of games. Dumb luck still rules in Uno, which is why it’s fun; but put yourself in the best possible situation to keep your average (in a 4 player game) above 25%.

 Good luck!

USB Rechargeable AA Batteries

Awesome battery technology.

Written on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

Finally. I found this online today.

It’s a pair of AA batteries that can be recharged using the USB port on your computer. I can imagine these would be great for travel, especially for your cordless mice or a ton of other things. I know I’m buying some (the box of 10 perhaps) so I can recharge one set of batteries while using another in my new Xbox 360.

The box of 10 is a bit pricey at 89.95 pounds (about 160 dollars or so?) so I have concerns about battery life. But other than that, in the long run, it might even be a good investment.

Fake ATM Receipts Fool the Ladies!

The most pathetic product ever.

Written on Tuesday, July 24th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 1 Comment so far

Want to impress the ladies, but don’t have money? Don’t earn your cash, fake it. With these brand new fake ATM receipts. With a few clicks, you, too can have a bank balance of nearly a million dollars. Drop them on the table during a date, leave one on your kitchen table when you bring that hot date home, leave one in the car. Anywhere you want the ladies to notice. Cuz, guys, afterall, we all know what wins the ladies’ heart right? Cash! Or at least the perception of cash.

Here’s mine. I only have $987,000 in the bank (Its not much different than reality, ladies, I swear!). How much fake wealth do you have? The site offers a year supply and a monthly supply of fake ATM receipts.

Eating (nearly) Extinct Animals for Fun and Profit

It was delicious!

Written on Sunday, July 15th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 2 Comments so far

I’m a long time advocate of eating rare and nearly extinct creatures. If they are heading the way of the do-do, why not enjoy them while they are still around? And what better way to enjoy creatures than to BBQ them?

Some villagers in New Guinea agree with me; and further bolster my beliefs that the most delicious animals are the nearly extinct ones. Sad.

One of the villagers said that he had trapped one in a snare and eaten it in the jungle, being unaware of how rare and sought-after the echidna was. “It was delicious,” he said.

Imagine if you were eating the last of a species. I bet that’d be a sweet, sweet meal, wouldn’t it? Somehow knowing that you would be the last person to ever nibble on it would make it taste better. Maybe to the point of not even needing Ketchup!

One of the Zoologists looking for the creature said, “This is good news. Of course, I’m delighted. I would like to meet it.”

Or eat it. Which ever. You know.

So I’ll pass it to my reader(s). Which nearly extinct animal sounds delicious to you? I’m up for Panda Bear. It sits around all day and does nothing but eat and sleep. That’s gotta be some mighty tender meat there. I bet Knut is pretty yummy, too.

Impregnating Hindus for Fun and Profit!

Where do I sign up?

Written on Saturday, March 31st, 2007 by lorien1973 :: Be the first to Comment

Here’s the deal. You, too, can go to a foreign country and be worshipped as a Goddess (doesn’t matter if you are male or not) and have sex with the locals. For fun! And, more importantly, profit!

 Sounds too good to be true? Not so!

A jobless man from south London has begun a new life - as a goddess in India.

Steve Cooper, from Tooting, blesses Hindus who believe he can cure their infertility.

I’m curious who Goddess Cooper realized he had this power to cure infertility. I’m definitely willing to give it a go myself and see what my magical device can cure too.

He wears a holy saffron robe and lives among 80 eunuchs.

One pilgrim said she had travelled for days to be blessed by him. “My sister-in-law came here and she got pregnant immediately,” she said.

Hmm. I wonder how this happened? Did the eunuchs do something here? Unlikely. Or did the goddess get freaky to “cure” this woman? This story only vaguely reminds me of the family doctor who used his own sperm to impregnate his patients.

Cooper added: “They revere me and believe I am a goddess. I feel what they feel in me. When I touch people I connect with them.”

Of this we do not doubt. Well played, my good man. Well played. I, too, worship you.

Update: I’d be remiss if I did not mention this. The guy is from Tooting. The story title is “Tooting man worshipped as goddess.” Yes, I was expecting his ability to present itself in the form of a face fart. So, alas, the story was a slight letdown.