Resume Writing Tips

Since we've recently been hiring and I've been receiving quite a few resumes, I've began to wonder if they teach resume writing in school anymore? I know I learned the basics in high school. Maybe they don't do it anymore. Alas. Here are some common mistakes and irritants that make me put down a resume immediately. I'm sure many employers would agree:

1. Resume is too long. If your resume is 5 pages long, I won't read it. They are boring. Make it 2 pages at the most. If you can fit it on a single page, even better. I don't need (or care) about your work history from when Nixon was president.
2. Spelling. This is basic. If you hired people, you did not hire "personal" you hired "personnel". Yes, I have a resume in front of me that says "Hired personal" Ugh.
3. Lack of experience. I've put my ad on Craigslist to save money. I get replies from people who do not even possess the basic skills I am looking for. While your telemarketing experience is nice, its not really suitable to driving a forklift. Get me?
4. Funky email addresses. Hey. Call me discriminatory. If your email address is funkypotsmoker@aol.com I probably will not be giving you a call for an interview. At least for professional purposes, I'd maintain an email address that isn't sexychick69@yahoo.com. Even if you are sexy chick 69, I really don't need to know nor want to know.
5. Moving to the area. If you are not currently living in an area where you are applying for a job, I'd note that you are in the process of moving and when you will be available. Yes; its easy to email and ask. But its a lot easier on me to know ahead of time. Easy on me, means more chance of an interview for you.
6. Unknown tasks. I get resumes in with people whose tasks were "do cycle counts each morning" What is this? It may have been important, but at least make what your experience is understandable by everyone. I think I'd also avoid putting mundane tasks such as "daily bank deposits" on your resume. While I understand that it denotes a certain level of trust from your former employer, your mad driving skillz are not very important.

That's the main tips from the current crop of resumes. If other employers have others, please feel free to comment. I'll add them to the post.