Impregnating Hindus for Fun and Profit!

Here's the deal. You, too, can go to a foreign country and be worshipped as a Goddess (doesn't matter if you are male or not) and have sex with the locals. For fun! And, more importantly, profit!

 Sounds too good to be true? Not so!

A jobless man from south London has begun a new life - as a goddess in India.

Steve Cooper, from Tooting, blesses Hindus who believe he can cure their infertility.

I'm curious who Goddess Cooper realized he had this power to cure infertility. I'm definitely willing to give it a go myself and see what my magical device can cure too.

He wears a holy saffron robe and lives among 80 eunuchs.

One pilgrim said she had travelled for days to be blessed by him. "My sister-in-law came here and she got pregnant immediately," she said.

Hmm. I wonder how this happened? Did the eunuchs do something here? Unlikely. Or did the goddess get freaky to "cure" this woman? This story only vaguely reminds me of the family doctor who used his own sperm to impregnate his patients.

Cooper added: "They revere me and believe I am a goddess. I feel what they feel in me. When I touch people I connect with them."

Of this we do not doubt. Well played, my good man. Well played. I, too, worship you.

Update: I'd be remiss if I did not mention this. The guy is from Tooting. The story title is "Tooting man worshipped as goddess." Yes, I was expecting his ability to present itself in the form of a face fart. So, alas, the story was a slight letdown.