How to Stop Global Warming

I'm praying to Xenu right now. I knew manmade solutions couldn't prevent this global problem. And according to Paul Hellyer, I'm right. The former Canadian Defense Minister has suggested that we use technology garnered from alien crashes to stop Global Warming™.

According to the story:

They're the cure, says Hellyer, 83. Here's how he sees it:

When a UFO crashed in Roswell, N.M., in 1947 (oh, stop being such a cynic), it offered a techno treasure trove.

Awesome. Just Awesome. We've already learned that Global Warming™ broke my arm last week. This week, we learn that only space aliens can save us! Next, Tom Cruise will be considered the savior. Oh wait.