I’m occupying Wall Street and complaining about corporate greed ….

While wearing a shirt I bought at Abercombie
And tweeting from my Iphone that I bought from Apple.
And being spied on by Facebook that I’m connected through my Ipad.
And using Google to find directions to other nearby protests.
And talking to other protesters thru the AT&T cell phone network.

I’m upset that ….

Big companies are getting bailouts, which Obama supported and voted for.
Big companies are controlling the marketplace, which Obamacare promises to expand.
Big companies are colluding with government, while I support making government even larger.
Big companies tell us what we can and can’t do, while I support a government doing the exact same thing.
Big companies keep us in debt, while I support a government that is keeping everyone in debt.
There’s too much money in government, while supporting a President who is promising a $1 billion re-election bid.

So Reason TV puts up this video about the Occupy Wall Street crowd. I don’t know if it’s a fair sample or not. But if it is, it’s stunning that it gets any media attention at all. There’s no media bias when this group of morons gets more press than the Tea Party movement which has, you know, actually shaped this country’s political landscape since its inception. But anyways..

There’s some guy here saying we should return to the barter system. I wonder if this guy realizes that the monetary system -is- the barter system. Just instead of wandering around buying things with 500 pigs, you carry coins or currency. It simplifies the process and gives everything a relative value.

A true barter system is subjective. Let’s say you have 500 pigs to buy stuff with. You might be able to buy 1 ipod with it, or 200 ipods with it – depending on what kind of deal the pig buyer got and how badly he needs pigs. Currency keeps this in check – things are purchased for nearly relative amounts of money and sold for a price that everyone understands and is relatively predictable.

But let’s say we did have a barter system, right? You have a job. What do you get paid with? Pigs? They are a form of currency too. It’s a serious question. What would you prefer to be paid in, rather than currency? Let’s say your job pays you in hay or something. You need to buy food. What if your local food store doesn’t accept hay as currency – and it wants pigs instead. You’d either have to convert your hay to pigs, find a store that accepts hay, or you are screwed. Is this the life you’d really want? Is hay not currency? What if hay isn’t as valuable as pigs? You are working for far less than the guy who works for pigs. It’s all currency.

How would you pay for your AT&T bill to complain about the monetary sytem? Mail a pig to Apple? Barter your shirt? I mean, c’mon. Let’s be serious here.

In an odd defense of Bob Etheridge and his assault on a student who asked him a question, Barry Saunders admits to abusing animals.

Most guys who’ve ever dated a woman with a pet they didn’t like know how to surreptitiously poke Fluffy or elbow it in the ribs while appearing to caress it.

(Note to the woman he’s dating: Yeah, you might not want him to look after Fluffy for the weekend. It might end up in the freezer.)

That’s quite the defense, I suppose. A lot of analogies could be made here, I think (So that’s how Democrats treat voters!, So that’s how politicians treat tax payers!, etc etc etc) but I think this little comment here – which apparently he thinks is somewhat normal – betrays his true feelings.

Instead of ignoring the kid on the street (Etheridge is, of course, under no obligation to answer or even acknowledge the person), he grabs his wrist, steals his phone and goes all creeper on him. Fluffy deserved to be poked, and elbowed for doing, um, nothing wrong.

In the rest of the column, Saunders seems to be obsessed with the students for not having a face. He mentions it 6 or 7 times. There might be some further issues here to discuss, but that’d really be between him and his therapist, I’m sure.

In the mean time, I’d like to invite PETA to denounce Saunders for admitting to casual animal abuse.

Apparently, today, Obama said this:

‘UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems’

As argument for his ObamaCare plan. For the plan. Not against it.

Can I reword this a little bit?

We’ve successfully screwed up running a service that 100% of the country uses. We’ve totally screwed it up so bad, that, in fact, it’s nearly bankrupt. So, can we run the healthcare industry? Yes we can!

I mean. Really. His argument is that they can’t run the post office, which everyone is practically forced to use, but they can run 15% of the economy? Really. Really?

It’s a joke. The guy has to be stupid.


So the left is engaging in projection, accusing republicans of astroturfing – all the while demanding that leftists astroturf to help pass healthcare reform.

Obama sent out an email asking people to hold up signs thanking congressmen for trying to pass a bill. Here is your alternate sign to hold up to those congressmen.

Enjoy, ya fishy bastards.

UPDATE: By demand. Since it’s generally acknowledged that Obama’s reform is going to hurt the elderly the most – by making treatments harder to access. Here is the real message that Obama should send out.

Following up on the success with the Cash for Clunkers program; The Obama Administration today announced a new program – to be passed after the August Recess – called Cash For Grannies.

The idea is to get rid of all the Grannies that are polluting our planet and replace them with new, more efficient voters that don’t require so much healthcare expenditures. People who turn in their grannies to Washington will receive a free Public Option to the Universal Healthcare Bill. As with the Cash for Clunkers program, you’re free Public Option Insurance will be paid for by people who are not enrolled on the Public Option – so there is no cost to anyone who turns in their granny.

Obama said, “This will help us lower our costs. First off, we will no longer need to provide healthcare to grannies, that probably wouldn’t prolong their lives anyways. Plus, the newer younger people are more efficient and are less harmful to the environment. Rest assured that all turned in grannies will be properly disposed of.”

When asked about the Cash for Clunkers cash shortfall, and if that’d affect how Cash for Grannies was implemented, Obama simply said, “Trust me.” There was no need for a follow-up question.

Critics of the program – who are probably racist – said this program would be harmful to the elderly and would not be able to improve coverage or decrease costs. Obviously, they are lying. As Obama said, “Yes, it will.” There was no need for a follow-up question.

Obama, under criticism for saying a white cop acted stupid for arrested a black professor, defended his actions, saying:

“I think that I have extraordinary respect for the difficulties of the job that police officers do,”

And really, when you think about it, Obama is right. He, more than anyone else, understands how hard it is to be an officer. He has some buddies with a history of blowing up cops. So if anyone understands how hard their job is, it’s Obama.

Dear Citibank,

I’ve been a customer of yours for over ten years now. I have a credit card with you all – at exorbitantly high interest rates, I might add – that I have paid my bills on time each month, even when times were tight. Well, I used to have one, but we’ll get to that.

I’ve been paying down a balance I accumulated from Christmas shopping, nights out with the family, trips and vacations. I’ve built up balances and I’ve paid down balances. I’ve used my card responsibly; never built up a balance I couldn’t pay off. Didn’t buy anything I couldn’t afford and am generally a good customer with your company.

Now I hear that the government will be bailing you out because of your poor financial decisions. That your executives didn’t factor in certain risks when investing their money. And now you go asking government for money. What would happen if I did this? What would happen if i called up Citi and said, “I didn’t spend my money wisely this month. Would it be okay if I didn’t pay my bills for a while; till i had the cash?” Would that receive a positive response from you or not? Just asking.

Also, I make enough money so that I owe income taxes every April. Enclosed, please find a copy of my tax return for 2007 as proof of this. Because I paid taxes to the federal government; part of that money will now be going to you, as I understand it.

So, in addition to paying my credit card bills, I will also be paying the credit card bills for other customers of yours. Does that seem fair? Did I eat their meals? Did I wear their clothes? Did I go on their vacation? You can see how I might be a little upset about this.

So, Citi has already received $25 billion from the feds already. My portion of this, assuming there are 150 million Americans paying taxes is approximately $160. We know there aren’t 150 million tax paying Americans. Half of Americans do not pay income taxes at all. So, really, my share is closer to $300.

So, in return for your bailout, please deduct $300 from my current credit card balance to repay me for the loss I am incurring because of your poor management skills. Also find enclosed a cut-up credit card that I will be of use, I like to deal with companies who are at least as fiscally responsible as I am – If I had known I’d have the honor of giving you money without using your service, I would have never applied for a card in the first place.

Thanks for your attention,

Former Customer.

Since he’s already scholar of the week; I thought I’d complete the rewards by naming him Gentleman of the Week, for his outstanding work in – at best- becoming mildly peeved at things.

It’s not many times that someone can be both a gentleman and a scholar. But Glenn is it.

Congratulations Glenn Reynolds, who apparently is a himbo as well.

The titles keep piling up for Mr. Reynolds! Spread that wealth around a little, would ya?

In the video above, Good Morning America is doing a story about hot dogs. So they drag out this guy to talk about it. What’s his name? Why, Harry Balzer of course!

I’d just chalk that up to coincidence but a few days earlier, Time Magazing ran a story on Iphones and porn. And who do they quote from?

Apple spokeswoman Jennifer Bowcock says the company doesn’t condone iPhone porn distribution and will ban adult content from official applications, just as it has restricted adult content in the podcast section of the Apple store.

Jennifer Bowcock of course – if you don’t get the joke, think about it for a second. An extra L in the name will help.

So we have Harry Balzer talking about hot dogs (of course!) and Jennifer Bowcock talking about porn. You really couldn’t come up with two more perfect people that fit their stories so well if you tried.

Really makes me wonder; is the media just making up these names these days? Or are the marketing people doing it and fooling the media?