Where else can I get 2-1 deals on stuff I buy every week and sometimes a $5 or $10 coupon every few weeks as well? Where else can I get 2 boxes of Steak-Ums (16 patties, $9.99 each), for the price of one? Where else can I get 2 bags of Ruffles for the price of 1? Where else can I get 2 Hungry Man meals for the price of 1? And even 2 bags of salad for the price of one? Where else can I get Mangos 2 for the price of 1?
And then honor coupons on those same purchases! Oh, my secret Publix mistress, I love you. If you ever put vegetables or meat on 2 for 1, I might just have to do very naughty things to you.
Where else can I buy $250 worth of food, only pay $160, and save $90 on my purchases by exploiting the 2 for 1 offers to the maximum.
The purpose of EATR is to develop and demonstrate an autonomous robotic platform able to perform long-range, long-endurance missions without the need for manual or conventional re-fueling – in other words it needs to “eat.”
In the annals of history, I don’t think anyone has come out so forcefully and said “I’m a pansy” in such a way as Time Magazine did today.
In a story listing the top 25 horror movies, Bambi came in at number 20. Is the writer at Times that sheltered? Bambi? Yeah, Thumper gives me the heebie jeebies too.
I know this story is blatant link bait for Halloween, but come on people. Bambi? I know that Time is trying to wussify our culture with this stuff but have we really sunk that low where Bambi beats out Frankenstein or Dracula or some of the other classics?
Bambi? He’s what’s for dinner. Not what’s giving me nightmares.
Let me preface this piece by saying that I think Walmart is a great business concept. It sells goods available at hundreds of locations for cheaper prices so we all save money by purchasing from them. Others can argue whether Walmart is beneficial or not; I don’t really care. It’s a free market and Walmart is winning in their industry – everything else is just sour grapes.
There isn’t another company that I’m aware of that employs people who serve no actual purpose to the company. I’m talking about greeters, of course. They do nothing for the company, they don’t make the experience better; I’d even argue that some of the them make the experience just a little creepy. They serve no real function to Walmart. They don’t stock the shelves, they don’t checkout customers, they don’t help customers find items; they just stand around and say “Hello!” and get paid for it – and from my experience there this weekend they get paid for following me around for just a little bit too long.
Anyways, back to my story. I don’t shop at Walmart as much as I used to. We just got one down the road from me, but I’ve been finding that I go to Publix more and more often, even though I can get the same stuff cheaper a few miles away. So this weekend, I decide to go grocery shopping at midnight. Nevermind the overly creepy greeter I encounter tonight; I’m sort of used to that.
But I buy everything I need, including meat and fruit. The fruit, as always, is cheaper than Publix, but it doesn’t taste as good either. The bananas have a slightly different texture and less taste as if farmed if in lower quality farms or where-ever. The broccoli tasteless and not fully green like I’m used to from Publix, either. All-in-all, disappointing fruit and vegetables. Sad.
But it’s the meat products at Walmart that always disappoint me. It seems that, no matter what I choose, the meat is dry and has a weird aftertaste that makes me wonder what these things are being fed before served to us. Every beef product I’ve bought at Walmart lately has this same strange quality – or lack thereof.
So, I guess I’ll have to do my shopping before 10 pm now and wander down to Publix for my groceries. No more midnight shopping though, I think I’ll miss that. Nothing quite like having a store to yourself and the stock people and the strange greeting people.
So, you need a drink? But recently had surgery and can’t drink alcohol? And exactly how badly do you need said drink?
Would you take it … anally? Alcohol enemas are all the rage these days, apparently. Tammy Jean Warner loved her husband so much that she gave him a sherry enema which elevated his blood alcohol level to .47 – almost 6 times the legal limit. He died, of course and she was charged with negligent homicide but those charges have been dropped because of lack of evidence.
The jokes are too easy here and way too graphic, so please feel free to insert your own. All I know is I cannot look at Sherry the same way again.
Yummy. Keira Knightley is lookin’ fine these days. Reminds me of something I used to enjoy as a child – Pez. What is going on in the world when anorexia is considered a fashion statement and something to be admired?
She’s just another in a long line of movie stars who have begun to look freakishly skinny. Nicole Richie. Rene Zellweger. Both come to mind immediately. It’s scary and it doesn’t look good either. It looks awful.
Have a few pounds you need to shed? Those love handles not looking too lovely anymore? Try this hot new Hollywood diet, endorsed by everyone from Cindy Sheehan:
O’Donnell asked: “Why go stand by side by Hugo Chavez in Venezuela? Why do that? Would you rather live under him than George Bush?
Sheehan: “Yes. Hugo Chavez is not a dictator like you introduced him. He’s been democratically elected eight times. He is not anti-American, he has helped the poor people of America.
Danny Glover, Harry Belafonte, and others agree as well. This is fantastic diet plan.
Mr Finlayson said his delegation ignored such voices because the goal was to express solidarity, not investigate. But the group did encounter some Chavez critics: walking through a wealthy district of Caracas, it was pelted with eggs.
So what is this new fabulous diet that has Hollywood abuzz? Socialist utopianism, commonly known as starvation!
Meat cuts vanished from Venezuelan supermarkets this week, leaving only unsavory bits like chicken feet, while costly artificial sweeteners have increasingly replaced sugar, and many staples sell far above government-fixed prices.
President Hugo Chavez’s administration blames the food supply problems on unscrupulous speculators, but industry officials say government price controls that strangle profits are responsible.
No meat, no sugar? The no-carb diet people will love this. It’s a brand new tourist enticement. Venezuela – come and starve.
Gonzalo Asuaje, president of the meat processors association Afrigo, said that costs and demand have surged but in four years the government has barely raised the price of beef, which now stands at $1.82 per pound. Simply getting beef to retailers now costs $2.41 per pound without including any markup, he said.
“They want to sell it at the same price the cattle breeder gets for his cow,” he said. “It’s impossible.”
You don’t need to eat when you live in a socialist utopia. That’s the lesson people never seem to learn. Perfection has its price; and that price is starvation.