Captain America: Not Dead, Just a Pervert

In March it was reported that Captain America was felled by a sniper's bullet. The Marvel superhero, turned outspoken critic of the Bush Administration (in comic book world, at least) took a bullet for liberalism and was killed. Just like the freedoms Bush takes away every day, right? Right?

Well, anyways, it turns out that this death was severely misreported (investigative journalism, ha!). It seems that he is alive and well, and a pervert.

While at the On Tap bar, Adamcik, 54, allegedly touched the genital areas of two women, according to a Melbourne Police Department report, a copy of which you'll find here. "Because there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at this time, all Captain Americas were asked to go outside for a possible identification," notes the report. One woman positively identified Adamcik as the superhero who groped her. While being booked, Adamcik asked to use the bathroom. It was then, police charge, that he attempted to flush marijuana, which apparently had been hidden in his blue tights.

Why do all superheroes who turn into liberals end up as pot smoking perverts? Tell me why that is?

Coincidence, I think not!