And You Think Your Job Sucks

And You Think Your Job Sucks

This will put in perspective.

True story, I swear. Got it from someone on a forum with this guy’s sister:

This guy is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisana, and works on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She entered it in a contest for the “worst job experience”.

“Hi Sue, just another note from your “bottom dwelling” brother. Last week I had a bad day at the “office”. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize that it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must bore you with a few technicalities of my job, so you can understand why this happened. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I also wear a suit to work. It’s a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It then heats it to a delightful temperature. Then it pumps it down to the diver through a hose similar to a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Well, everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was already done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry-decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swelled shut.

So, the next time you think you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt!!

Love,
Rob


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