So it’s Halloween again and here we go again. Random kids I’ve never seen before come to my door begging me for food. And not healthy food, but for candy. And they demand it too, they ring the door-bell until I come running offering my tithing lest my house get toilet papered or they throw eggs at my house or something.
So I offer up my tithing, actually thanking the kids of coming to my house and stealing food that I had purchased with my hard earned money. Sometimes they thank me sometimes, most of the times they do not. But I continue to give my money over because it’s demanded of me. And then I say “Happy Halloween!” to them – what’s happy about it? I should call it the yearly Halloween Tax. It only affects parents with no kids, because parents with kids are out wandering the neighborhood, begging for scraps of food themselves
And when the kids come, they are dressed up like mummies, skeletons, vampires and all sorts of creatures that are dead. Much like the way that welfare kills the soul, because you are given things you didn’t earn; Halloween welcomes fake dead people up onto your porch.
Then we get strange cars driving around the neighborhood, obviously carrying kids from other neighborhoods to get candy from us. So the trick-or-treaters (re: welfare recipients) gather up in cars, drive to strangers’ houses and steal their food too. It is not about community or getting to know your neighbor. It is all about “how much food can I steal, in the shortest period of time possible.”
So this year, I once again pay my Halloween Tax, tithing my money to children and parents who – any other day of the year – wouldn’t come by my house if I were rolling around the yard on fire. But for free food, they’ll come in droves – lavish me with attention and happily walk away with my food. Then move onto the next house to steal from them too.
And the parents of these children get off with no Halloween Tax at all; because they are smart. They are out chaperoning their children through the streets. Sometimes eating the food we’ve tithed to the children. Leeches.
Happy Halloween everyone!
(Bryan at Hot Air chimes in with some cool Halloween stuff – that doesn’t involve me feeding other peoples’ kids)