Farfour: We Barely Knew Thee

Farfour

This post is mourning the passing of everyone’s favorite hero – Farfour.

Hamas TV on Friday broadcast what it said was the last episode of a weekly children’s show featuring “Farfour,” a Mickey Mouse look-alike who had made worldwide headlines for preaching Islamic domination and armed struggle to youngsters.

In the final skit, Farfour was beaten to death by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour’s land. At one point, Farfour called the Israeli a “terrorist.”

Slaughtered, before his time, by Jewish terrorists. How could they be so heartless toward this fine example of peace and prosperity. Where will Palestinian children get such fine messages as:

“We will annihilate the Jews.”

“They (jews) are apes and pigs.”

And how will they learn about Jihad, if not from a mouse? Really.

And what shows will replace Farfour as entertainment to brainwash educate youngsters?

Pimp My Car Bomb ?

Two Guys, A Girl and a Stoning ?

Dora the Exploder ?

Who Wants to Behead a Millionaire ?

G.I. Had ?

(H/T: Hot Air)

Ron Paul Promises to Cut Government Spending

The last hope for the Republic, Ron Paul, is a fiscally conservative senator from Texas who rails against big government and government spending.

Ron Paul’s supporters “love” his championing of the Constitution in this regard. Limited government. Lower taxes. More Freedom.

But is Ron Paul really for less government spending? The proof in the pudding is always pork projects for the local constituency. That’s the way politicians buy votes, right? Shouldn’t Ron Paul, the champion of the Constitution, be against pork barrel spending.

As they say on TV,  let’s go to the tape. (local PDF link – link to original version). Can someone please remind me, which article of the Constitution allows for “Brazoria County Shore Protection”, “Cancer Center Expansion” “Chocolate Bayou” among other pork projects, many of which just -happen- to be in his local district. Very puzzling.

The Champion of the Constitution, indeed. Sure, come and say that he’s just working within the system and that when he’s elected he’ll change things. Then, in the next breath tell me that he doesn’t pass many bills because he can’t get people to agree with him – because he’s such a rigid supporter of constitutional ethics. Uh huh.

Ron Paul. The last hope. The best hope. For the Republic. Take the Red Pill. Ron Paul.

(H/T: Ace)

Ask.Com Kato Kaelin Ads

I’m sure you’ve seen the Ask.Com ads featuring Kato Kaelin. Some lady sings that she found what she is looking for. What is she looking for? Kato Kaelin.

I’ll make this simple. If you are searching the internet for Kato Kaelin, then you are a moron. You don’t deserve to “find what you are looking for”.

By the transitive property, if you use Ask.Com you are a moron as well. Because only morons (see point above) use Ask.Com.

Is this the message Ask.Com wants to put out with this advertisement? Become a moron. Use Ask.Com.

I think they should make it their official slogan, too. Jeeves is rolling over in his grave.

Being the web entrpeneur I am, I did a search on how many people are looking for “Kato Kaelin” During the last 90 days 33 people searched for Kato. Ask.Com is obviously trying to capture those high volume searches, isn’t it?

Let’s also examine Ask.Com’s results for Kato Kaelin (this search may age, so feel free to type Kato Kaelin in at Ask for your own analysis). Half of the front page is consumed with results from 1996. Now, that’s current results. Congratulations, Ask! You rock.

Ask.Com has this neat little feature in the left navigation, too.

Kato Kaelin Search

The answer to all of these searches can be summed up with “Who cares”

And who cares about Ask? Kato. And Morons.

Smugglers Using Garden Gnomes for Illegal Animals

This story, not only is it funny, but it strikes me – personally – and very deep level.

During a routine check of international mail on June 10, an officer discovered two snakes and three lizards stuffed inside three of the diminutive garden figurines in a shipment from Britain.

“When the package was opened, the officer spotted several snakes moving about. The package was immediately resealed,” Australian customs said Tuesday in a statement.

A day later, officials at the same facility X-rayed another package from Britain and found five snakes and five lizards stuffed inside pottery figures and other ornaments.

Nice. So, it’s just a routine smuggle and capture, right?

Well, for me, not so much.

See, when I was a kid, I lived in an area with no sewage so we had a septic tank. One morning, when I went to the bathroom and sat down, I didn’t notice the snake in the toilet immediately. When I did, I jumped up and started screaming like a girl. It’s a very traumatic experience at that age, try it, if you don’t believe me.

And don’t think my mother doesn’t enjoy bringing it up all the time too!

So, looking at the picture:

Garden Gnome Snake Smuggling

You can see how personally affected I’d be by this. Snakes/toilets/butts do not go together in any way at all. That we sell garden gnomes doesn’t help the link very much either! The scene in Snakes on a Plane with the snake in the toilet. NOT FUNNY! (Well, kinda funny). Gags where parents put some monster in the toilet to scare their kid. NOT FUNNY!

Okay. Time for therapy again.

Ron Paul Snuggles with Iran President Ahmadinejad

Iran’s President Ahmadinejad has a history of calling for the destruction of Israel. He supports terrorist groups that fire missiles into Israel almost daily and has held holocaust denying exhibits in his country.

So you’d think this vote would be a no-brainer, don’t you? Apparently not.

Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich were the only “no” votes on a bill that called for:

the United Nations Security Council to charge Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with violating the 1948 Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide and the United Nations Charter because of his calls for the destruction of the State of Israel

The vote wasn’t difficult, didn’t mean much (in reality), but still; could Ron Paul acknowledge Iran’s efforts to destroy Israel? Nope. Why not?

UPDATE: A commenter or two writes, claiming that Ahmadinejad’s statements in October have been taken out of context. While this ignores all the previous times that he has called for Israel’s destruction, I’m curious why Iran’s own online news site also claims that Ahmadinejad meant to say “Israel must be wiped off the map” ? Maybe the commenters know the language better than Iranian’s news service?

Plausible Deniability: A Real World Example

Ever hear the phrase “plausible deniability” and can’t figure out what it means?

Here’s a perfect, everyday example of it.

Your spouse goes out of town for a week or two and tells you to water the plants. Two hours before she comes home, you suddenly remember that you haven’t watered them yet. So you hurry around the house, watering everything.

So, when asked, “Did you water the plants while I was away”

“Yes, dear, I sure did!”

“Why are the plants dead?”

“I dunno, but I watered them just like you told me!”

“Wonder what happened?”

“I don’t know, cats probably pee’d in them or something.”

The watering of the plants an hour before she came home gives you the plausible deniability. You -did- water the plants, so it’s not really a lie. There is no evidence of wrong-doing (soil wet, check; watering thing moved, check), whereas, if you didn’t water them all real quick and they were bone dry – you are busted.

Plausible deniability! It rocks!

Things I’ve Learned from Summer Movie Season

Here is a list of the top ten (or so) things that I’ve learned from the summer movie season. Some related to movies, some related to the ambience of the theatre itself.

  1. Don’t visit big cities. Inevitably; natural disasters, alien invasions, and all sorts of destruction only visit big cities. Usually in the busiest sections of the city too. Definitely avoid downtown, tourist spots and for god’s sake never, ever visit a landmark.
  2. No matter how invulnerable or indestructable an alien/monster appears for the first 3/4 of the movie; at the crucial time, its weakness will be exposed and then defeated because of it. If I were the hero of the movie, I’d just sit around smokin’ a stogey until about 1:45 in the movie when this happens. Fighting it in the interim is useless anyways.
  3. While waiting for #2 to happen and I were the hero, I’d be nailing the hot chick I’ve been teamed with. She hates me now, but of course she’ll love me by the end of the film. Spend that 1:45 by buttering her up.
  4. The human bladder and stomach can easily hold about a gallon of liquid and ten pounds of popcorn. Because those are the only sizes that are served.
  5. People lose the ability to urinate into a toilet in a public facility. Dodging puddles of urine is almost as exciting as the movie itself. If there is a toilet seat to urinate on; it will be urinated on.
  6. 2 year old kids are appropriate companionship to a movie that promises gore, blood, cursing, death and general mayhem. They love it!
  7. No matter how difficult the fight may be, how dire the situation is; there is always time for a mildly amusing quip to make the audience laugh.
  8. (followup from #1) Aliens and natural disasters always destroy monuments first. Natural disasters love hitting ancient monuments first (The Roman Colesseum, the Parthenon, etc). Aliens like destroying large buildings in major cities, first. Instinctively, both realize that destroying grandma’s house in BFE, Kansas won’t make an emotional impact with the audience.
  9. The heroes of the movies always possess the unique skills to stop the alien or natural disaster. Even if they don’t realize it at the beginning of the movie..
  10. When killing a minor bad guy; it is best to make a clever quip afterwards to distract the audience from the gruesome blood flow that is surely coming from his newly created hole.
  11. When the movie ends, you’ll inevitably say “I thought it was going to be better” then talk about how much you want to see the sequel.

Ass Kicking 40 Year Old Virgins with Swords

It’s called LARPing. I guess it’s what nerds 40 year old virgins do when the power goes out in mom’s basement and they can’t play their favorite MMORPG. Do they go outside and meet girls?

Nope. They fight each other with plastic swords.

And they aren’t 5 years old.

What’s your favorite part? Mine is the “God of War” who acts like a complete pussy when he gets his body paint sprayed on him. Second favorite? The guy who says “we are not nerds”. Yeah. You’re right. That’d give nerds a bad name (post amended).

Humans Causing Global Warming for 20,000 Years?

Here’s an interesting story about global warming.

Many Arctic plant species have readily adjusted to big climate changes, repeatedly recolonizing the rugged islands of the remote Svalbard archipelago off Norway’s coast through 20,000 years of warm and cool spells since the frigid peak of the last ice age, researchers report in today’s issue of the journal Science.

Their finding implies that, in the Arctic at least, plants may be able to shift long distances to follow the climate conditions for which they are best adapted as those conditions move under the influence of human-caused global warming, the researchers and some independent experts said.

Man, those SUVs and factories have been pumping out global warming gasses longer than I ever realized!

Oh wait; they mean that the planet has undergone warming and cooling in the past. And here I thought that the planet always stayed at a constant temperature and that temperatures were perfect in 1906, when glaciers reached their maximum point in many regions. Amazing.

And, apparently, plants and animals have the ability to adapt to the changes as well.

“As the proper habitat is available, plants will survive,” she said. “I have not seen this demonstrated so clearly as it is in this paper. If dispersal is not a limiting factor, then maybe the rate of warming ongoing in the Arctic will not be a limiting factor in plant survival in distant places.”

This science thing is amazing. One could wonder how much we could actually learn about this planet if agendas didn’t drive everything.

Also, not only are environmentalists against kittens, they are against evolution too.

The ability of Arctic flora to disperse widely is probably an evolutionary consequence of the region’s tendency toward sharp climate swings, she said.

Kittens and evolution. What else are they against? Crazy activists.

Global Warming Not Behind Kilimanjaro’s Meltdown

Al Gore, in his movie Inconvenient Truth, points to Mount Kilimanjaro as proof, in part, that Global Warming threatens humanity. Immediately, skeptics jumped on this, saying that Kilimanjaro has been slowly melting for centuries:

In the film, Gore points to Mt. Kilimanjaro as an example of global warming’s impact on alpine glaciers. Robert Balling, a climatologist at Arizona State University writes, however, that the shrinking glaciers atop Africa’s famed volcano have been disappearing for more than a century. Two studies published in 2004 suggest the retreat was triggered by declining rainfall since the end of the 1800s.

Other stories point to this mountain as their evidence behind Global Warming and the danger it imposes.

Keipper’s photos speak for themselves, dramatic proof of a scientific near-certainty: Kilimanjaro’s glaciers are disappearing. The ice fields Ernest Hemingway once described as “wide as all the world, great, high, and unbelievably white in the sun” have lost 82 percent of their ice since 1912—the year their full extent was first measured.

Horrible. 82% of its ice since 1912?

The BBC chimes in. Climate change threatens Africa:

As an example of the impact of climate change, WWF says that the ice-cap on Mount Kilimanjaro has shrunk by more than 80% since 1900.

Common Dreams laid into their Global Warming scare tactics:

A photo of Mount Kilimanjaro stripped of its snowcap for the first time in 11,000 years will be used as dramatic testimony for action against global warming as ministers from the world’s biggest polluters meet on Tuesday.

Gathering in London for a two-day brainstorming session on the environment agenda of Britain’s presidency of the Group of Eight rich nations, the environment and energy ministers from 20 countries will be handed a book containing the stark image of Africa’s tallest mountain, among others.

“This is a wake-up call and an unequivocal message that a low-carbon global economy is necessary, achievable and affordable,” said Steve Howard of the Climate Group charity which organised the book and an associated exhibition.

Again. The horrors.

 Too bad Kilimanjaro’s meltdown is not caused by Global Warming.

Kilimanjaro’s ice has been melting away for more than a century, and most of that melt occurred before 1953, prior to the period where science begins to be conclusive about atmospheric warming in that region, according to Philip Mote of the University of Washington and Georg Kaser of the University of Innsbruck in Austria.

Also, as a tropical glacier, the processes governing ice melt on Kilimanjaro (located in Tanzania) are different than those on other mid-latitude glaciers located closer to the Earth’s poles.

These other mid-latitude glaciers become warmed and melted by surrounding air in the summer, while the air around Kilimanjaro’s 19,340-foot peak (the tallest in Africa) is generally well below freezing.

Instead, melt on Kilimanjaro is caused by sublimation, which turns ice directly into water vapor at below-freezing temperatures—essentially the glacier gets a giant case of moisture-sapping freezer burn.

You’d think Gore, as an expert environmental scientist would realize this, don’t you? I guess he has more important things on his mind than facts. Oh well.

Again; this is my problem with the concept as anthromorphic Global Warming. We simply do not know enough about our planet to tell us what causes it. The sun? Sunspots? The oceans? Aliens farting on Omicron Persei 8? We simply do not know enough to say for sure. Doing “something” when you don’t even have all the facts is not a wise course of action.

Given that sunspots is, seemingly, the best fit pattern to a warming and cooling trend on this planet (and others in the solar system), why is it continually being ignored for carbon dioxide emissions, economic regulation, and farsical carbon credit schemes? Is the environment even the real agenda here?